


You Always Smell Like Smoke

by AnotherSPNfanfic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Firefighter Dean Winchester, Panic Attack, Third Person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 14:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20602655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherSPNfanfic/pseuds/AnotherSPNfanfic
Summary: This came from a conversation after Jensen posted those LAFD gear pics.  Plus prompts “I need a place to stay” and “I feel like I can’t breathe”.  Enjoy!





	You Always Smell Like Smoke

She pulled into the parking lot of the fire station and took a deep calming breath before climbing out of her car. It was barely noon and had already been an incredibly long day. She walked around to the front where she found Sam and Cas washing the truck.

“Hey! What’re you doing here?” Sam asked.

“Long story. Do you know where Dean is?”

Sam pointed towards the other side of the truck. “Right over there.”

“Thanks,” she mumbled. She rounded the front of the truck and spotted Dean. The sight nearly made her forget the reason she was there.

He was wearing his navy blue department t-shirt with his bunker pants, red suspenders holding them in place. She watched as he finished folding up a hose and hoisted it onto his shoulder. The sleeves of his shirt strained slightly with the flex of his biceps. He had turned to put the hose away in the side compartment when he spotted her.

He knew she was checking him out. They had been best friends for years. They had shared a handful of drunken nights together and they flirted regularly. But neither of them were ever looking for more. He decided to make a show of putting away the last hose. He lifted it a little slower and flexed more than necessary. Once he finished, he finally turned to give her his full attention.

“You’re drooling, sweetheart.” He winked once she made eye contact.

That managed to snap her out of her trance. “I was not.” She sighed, “I, kinda, need a huge favor.”

“Anything. You know that.” Noticing how stressed she looked, he added, “You alright?”

“Just a really, really long morning. I need a place to stay. My ‘no pets allowed’ apartment building is being fumigated for fleas.”

“Of course. You know you don’t even need to ask. The spare room is basically yours anyway.” He pulled her over to hug her tightly. “You got your key, or you need mine?”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and returned his firm hug. “Yours, please. Mine is in my apartment.”

He continued to hold her until her grip finally loosened. “You wanna go hang out there, or you gonna stay here a while?”

“Um, there. I think I might try to take a nap.”

“Okay.” He led her inside to his locker to get his key. “If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thanks, Dean. I’ll see you later.”

She got to Dean’s house and curled up on his couch with the rest of the pint of ice cream she had left there the week before. She turned on a random documentary on Netflix, hoping it would bore her to sleep.

An hour and a half later, she was still wide awake. Her mind was racing, and she was even more exhausted. She decided to try to distract herself with a movie, since sleep seemed a futile venture.

She was surprised when she was being shaken awake. “I brought pizza, if you’re hungry,” said Dean as he turned towards the kitchen. “You been sleeping all day?”

“No, I saw the beginning of this movie,” she started, pausing to see how far in it was. “Woo! Thirty minute power nap.”

“Well you kind of looked like you were having a bad dream,” he stated almost as if it were a question.

“Huh, I don’t remember.”

“Alright, well, let’s eat and watch something better than this chick flick you have on,” he teased.

“You love this movie, don’t even try that.” She got up to grab plates as he pulled out glasses and poured whiskey in both.

“I plead the fifth. Either way, I’m in the mood for an action movie.”

About an hour into the movie, she felt a familiar tightness start to build in her chest. It had been months since she’d had a full attack. She was hoping that streak would continue. But within ten minutes, that hope was gone.

“I gotta pee,” she announced as she nearly sprinted out of the room.

“Want me to pause?” he shouted after her.

“No, I’ve seen it, it’s fine.” She actually wanted the noise so he wouldn’t overhear her. All the years they had been friends, she had managed to keep her panic attacks a secret. He knew about her anxiety, but not about this.

She closed the bathroom door and tried splashing cold water on her face. It did nothing to calm her as she began to lose track of her breathing. She sank to the cool tile floor as she tried to regain control while staying as quiet as possible.

He’s going to find out. He will be worried. He will be mad I’ve never told him before. Her swarming thoughts of Dean learning about this only fueled the attack. She was completely unaware how long she’d been in there when she heard a knock at the door. It sounded a mile away, and she wasn’t even sure she wasn’t imagining the sound.

Then she heard it again, louder this time. The door was cracked open before she heard him, “Did you fall in? You’ve been—” he stopped as the wheezing sound became clear. He pushed open the door to find her curled with her knees to her chest as she was hyperventilating.

“I feel like I can’t breathe,” she managed between shaky breaths.

He had seen enough panic attacks in his line of work to know what was happening. He quickly moved to sit behind her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“Shh, you’re okay,” he soothed. “Can you take a deep breath for me, just one big deep breath?”

It took a few moments, but she was finally able to take one big gasp and managed to exhale a bit slower.

“Good girl. That’s really good. Now, can you tell me five things you can see?”

She took another shaky breath and swallowed roughly as she tried to focus on his request. “Umm, toilet, shower,” she looked around quickly, “towels, scale—”

“One more,” he encouraged.

“Uhh, your toothbrush.” She finished.

“Perfect. Four things you can touch?”

“Floor, towel, cabinets, you,” she stated as she wrapped her fingers tighter around his forearm.

“Good. Deep breath and tell me three things you hear.”

She took another deep breath, holding it for a moment before she exhaled. “Uh, a dog barking, crickets, and, ummm, a clock, I think.”

“Yep, good job,” he praised her. “What about two things you smell?”

That one required her to take another deep inhale through her nose. “Your cologne and smoke. You always smell like smoke.”

“I do not,” he chastised, teasingly. “Last, one thing you taste.”

“Whiskey,” she said, more easily than anything yet.

“Awesome. You feel a little better?” he asked, tentatively as he loosened his grip around her torso.

“I think so, yeah. Sorry.” She relaxed and lolled her head lazily back against his chest.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, sweetheart. I wish you’d told me so I could help, but I get it.” He shifted and lifted her carefully to carry her out to the couch. “How often do you have those?”

“Not very. It’s been months. Actually, years, since I had one that bad,” she explained.

“Do you know what triggered it?” He pulled a blanket over her before sitting where she could rest her head on his leg.

“Nothing? Everything?” She turned her head to look up at him. “I really don’t, just a really stressful day.”

“In the future, please, talk to me. You don’t need to hide it from me, okay?” She watched as concern settled across his features as he waited for a response.

“I’ll try not to. But, old habits die hard.”

“Guess that will have to be good enough. How about for now you just try and get some rest,” he requested. He ran his hand gently up and down her arm.

“Thank you, Dean,” she mumbled as her eyelids began to grow heavy.

“I got you, always,” he whispered as she finally succumbed to a peaceful sleep.


End file.
